Life has been sad… Cold… Colorless… and I’m here, Miami, to tell you that I’m empty without you.
“But it’s been so long” you must be thinking to yourselves… “Things won’t be the
way they used to be”…  But come on bb, we had such a good times together.
So many nights spent deep inside of you. Melting in your embrace…
I love you bb, plz take me back?

But like all break ups, especially ones that last too long, you can’t help but speculate as to where
the other has been spending their time and what have they been up to.

I know it’s been a while bb, and maybe I’m moving to quick but I got twenty one questions….
And they all about us. I don’t really have twenty one questions but here are some;
- Why did you stop saying hi to me when Hot Damn went into hiding?
- Why is The Vagabond not cool anymore?
- Why is there this static gay bar across the street from the Vagabond?
- Why does Miami Eve not exist anymore…figuratively speaking.
- Why do hipsters enjoy Wynwood so much?
- When did every girl in Miami become an artist?
- Is Wynwood the reason for these inspired, mediocre, talents?
- Why does Shots nightclub exist?
- Why is that Asian girl who guards the door to the Garret so adamant in adding 30+ minutes to your waiting time?
- Why does her hair look the way it does, and if it’s something you can purchase, where would one purchase such a device?
- Why does the “VIP/Guest List” line and the line of those who aren’t as privileged equal in size? (During Peach Fuzz)
- Why has Kairo, AKA Chalk, grown to be such an asshole? (I still love you bb)
- Why is Jessica Who? Not a multi-millionaire yet?
- Why is PBR going up in price?
- Should I invest my money in PBR shares?
- Is O’Grime still relevant?
-  Why is the place that used to be Black Bar not anything yet?
-  Is it still cool to consider yourself a Dubstep DJ?
-  Do the Jacuzzi Boy’s pay rent for living at Gramps?
- Why haven’t you even texted me after all this time?
That’s barely skimming the surface of my many quandaries.

Where do we go from here guys?…Girls?… I’m not sure but I’m here to say I miss you… I want you back… Lets do it all over again. And you know what…It Feels like the first time…
Feels like the very first time–Don’t act like you didn’t sing that last part.

Hot Damn <3′s Miami 4 lyfe and that’s real.

–>More shit soon to come.

10 Responses to “Please Accept our Relationship Request Miami. We Want to Make Things Right, Again.”

  1. Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick says:

    This entire site should just be passive-aggressive questions about this stupid shit that happens in Miami. I loved everyone, particularly the Shots one.

Leave a Reply